One day at a time
Is all I can do
If I do more
I will surely fall

One thing after another
Has happened to me
It got me in a tailspin
I was hoping to just stop

Yet another and another
Keep coming at me
So I hold my head high
And try to stand tall

My problems are mighty
They are really something to deal with
I am not surprised
If I get hospitalized




Rebecca Smith 12/6/09

I have been through a very strange experience these past few weeks. What started out as nausea, turned into gallstones. I was having a really difficult time with it too. The pain and nausea were getting to me. I went to the hospital twice for my pancreas which was getting affected by the gallstones. I ended up getting my gallbladder out which was supposed to be in and out in one day. I found out that during surgery I had three arteries instead of one. I had gotten two blood transfusions because it had gotten complicated during the surgery. I stayed in the hospital for this for two days. Considering that I had lost some blood and have a big gash in my abdomen, I got out pretty quick. I am home recovering well. I am almost back to normal physically. Just need to rest and take it easy. Not something I am used to either. Here are my thoughts about all this...

I am glad that I made it through the surgery. I am glad that I am healing fast enough for me. This is the time in my life that I realize that i am worth something to myself and others. I no matter what I have been through in my life know that I am here and want to be here.

When things get tough
And you feel there is nothing for you
Sometimes a simple thing
Can get you to see
That you are here and real
No one can tell you
That you are nothing
Everyone is someone to me
If you look deep inside
To see the reality of you
Try to remember
You are special to you



Rebecca Smith

Jusr popping in to write something.

There are times
That things can seem so wrong
Yet you know that there
are two sides to the coin

On and off I feel like saying goodbye to my life here and just taking my car and starting a new life. Then I realize not too long after that it probably would be very lonely where I go. Leaving my family behind is something I do not want. The feelings just take over and make me feel like running. Getting away physically will not get rid of the feelings. Those will be a part of me no matter where I go. How do I deal with the feelings? I basically say deal with this feeling and stop feeling like you are not worthy of being loved and cared about. It takes a little bit of my energy, but it mostly works.

Life has a way of bringing
You back to reality
You have to be the one to
Keep reality in check.


Becky

I have days when I am down. This is one of the days. I feel like I have wet blanket covering me. Does not feel so good. Let me see if I can write a poem..........

Days like this
Are days I do not cherish
They bring me hurt
And I feel like I suffer

Sometimes I cannot get
What is bothering me
Sometimes I wish
I did not know why

If there was a way
To ease these feelings
I would do what I could
Too much blocking the way

I know it will go away
I know that people think
Get over it
Not as easy as you think





Rebecca Smith 5/24/09

This is just written.

a poem

What the hell is all this for
I try to make sense of it all
What am I doing in life

I have been through all kinds of hell
I have seen the worst of all things
What did I learn from it

All the things in my life seem to be wrong
There is no peace of mind for me
All that I ask is we meet halfway

We all have our problems in life
Mine is not the life that always works
I go on and make it work the best that I can

When we all learn that we make our future
We can all change what we think and feel
If we can't we find a way to do that

Sometimes you have to just see what is there
Really see that what is there is better than
What you may have had once in your life


Rebecca Smith 3/17/09


This is one of my poems. Tell me what you think.

birdie