today i write

Just a quick one this day. I would like to say this...don't take things for granted, be glad you have what you have. That is all i have for today. I think it speaks volumes though. 

On my mind

I am a vast wealth of emotions
Can I see past them all
Is there an answer 
To my question at all

I have the knowledge 
To get through the emotions
But when it comes down to it
I seem to forget it all

In my years of going through
The mental challenge I have
To sort through the emotions
It is a adventure in all

I am forever going to be
An emotional gal
The answer to my question
I have known it all along


Becky Smith                4/28/11

Flip up again

If there is a way to know
How I will feel in a day
I would be able to warn
Myself before it happens
Not feel like I am a mystery
To myself and others
I want to be one
In mind and body
Spirit and soul
With the things I have in me
I am always going to be uncertain
Of what my moods will do
I sit and wait for the next
Mood swing to happen
On and on I go
On and an I will keep going


Becky Smith            3/31/11

this life of mine

This life of mine
Is something to be misleading
Thinking that it is good
It is something that I want changed


What can I do to make it better
I feel my roller coaster moods
Counter productive
To what I really want out of my life


This life of mine
How do i know
When it will be right
If it will ever be settled down


There are some things I do
That are good for me
Yet when the moods go haywire
I am a basket case inside


This life of mine
Will it ever calm down 
Will I be something to me
Will I ever feel the same


Becky Smith                                             3/30/11

There are thoughts in my head

These thoughts cause me grief

Give me feeling of being useless

Of having nothing to go for

I am fighting a battle days in

And days out

Trying to figure out where I need to go

What I need to do

I am at a crossroads with my life

Maybe what men call

Mid life crisis

Trying to see where I fit in the scheme of things

I have come to the conclusion

That I will find who I am

One way or another no matter

What it takes to get to that conclusion

Rebecca Smith 3/3/11

That is my thought for the day.

My list is:

Help my hubby find a job.

Crochet and accomplish at three to six afghans

Write and type my poetry in the computer

Becky

I am at my wits end sometimes with my son. Sometimes having the strength to deal with it all is little to none. I get mad and want to throw the towel in and say forget it all. Here is something I know for sure, he is mad at something and takes it out on me. All I want to do is have a good day with him. I know it will happen, but it seems like it will take forever.

My one class for school is almost over. Doing good. I just feel the teacher was not being nice the last time I put something in the post for problems. Oh well could be my mood too. I knew what the assignment asked for and helped out some. I was not going to sit there and make it so easy for the rest to do, they are not thinking and the assignment was easy to read.

I have my good days and bad days. I am just me and want to have more good days then bad. I feel the need to write again so that is good. I just got to get it at the right time. I also am crocheting to help out my old job with a possible fundraiser. Scarves are being a made over here. have about 12 now. I need about 20 to 25 more for a good one.

This day brings to end, the day that I see things are getting better. It is weird cause I had two things go wrong today. Yet I am happy because my son is trying to do better. it makes me feel happy. I have gotten out of a mini bipolar spin too. Stress has a way of getting to my mood swings. Good that I notice it too. Helps me get through them somehow. Refreshed some is the word I can use right now for how I am feeling.

As for the recent surgery, I have healed pretty good over here. Considering all the things I did that I was not supposed to do, it healed just fine. Some pain where it was done. Felt like they juggled with my insides for giggles after the incision healed. I am good with that. It is funny I am sick or in pain most of the times, but I heal pretty quick.

Onto the next bit of news...I am still getting an A in my class. My next class is going to be math. Dreading math. It is not my best subject. I am going to do the best that I can and I am sticking to it.

Have a good day all. That is it for now.

Becky