I See Clearly Now...

I have been wondering why I feel so bad all the time. It is because truthfully I have forgotten how to do for myself. It is not that my friends and some family have not tried to show me or tell me they care, but to be told how bad you are because people are not ready to grow up and take responsibility for themselves, puts me in a bind with my thinking only. It does not change that I have done enough for some and they have forgotten the reality of everything surrounding them. I care about many and get so little back from certain people who do not deserve what they have gotten, which is my time and caring and taking the heat for their wrong doing with things they could have changed, they did not. I have gotten to the point i do not want to trust anyone, but I can't even stop that. I do trust some people. I also care for a few people like family. Unfortunately the family thing is just a mess. I can't change how that is either. People did not do what they were supposed to do to help the ones who could not do for themselves and they got caught in a bind that they try to lie their way out of or they do not want to be responsible for their actions. It is too hard to see that we have been pinning things on me more than anyone and I have helped as best as I could. when I complained, it was not good enough I was bitching too much or I was crazy. Just remember everyone I may seem like I am bitching, but no one really knows the whole me story and not everyone would bee able to hear what is my story. Be glad it is not your story and know that I am doing what I can with the problems and it takes time. I need a lot of time to get through all the shit I have dealt with and can't take anymore.If anyone has a beef with me take it up with me in private, because that is just the right way to do things. I will end with a pretty pic because something has got to be hopeful in this.