being real

I want to be real. I do not want to bother people because I feel like I am a bother to people. It is something that I feel in my mind. Whether that is real or not, I cannot be sure. I can't say I feel alone, but I feel on the outside of the world and all I want is to have a better feeling with life itself. I am not wanting to go away, that is not it. I want to be real. I want to be treated with respect again. I don't want people to lie to me. I don't want anymore of the anger I get directed at me for just being me. I know others will say I am complaining, but I have real things going on and I do not get the answers I just need to make my life as good as it can be when or if it may get worse with a few things. i want to stop being labeled by my bipolar "condition". If it is complaining so be it, but to be put off because i was labeled with a mental illness sucks. To sit and take the emotional hurt I have taken and to just go on and deal with it badly or not. I just want to be real to people not a scapegoat or a label. I have some dignity in me still to know it hurts and I still try to be real. My motto to end this is...Honesty may hurt, but when you lie it has to be kept up and the lies get bigger and bigger to the point you forget what is real and what is not. Honesty you do not have to be something you are not, you are just you. I like that kind of thing. Honesty is real.