rainbow full of colors

I have a rainbow
That is full of colors
I see them so clearly right now
It feels so good to me


Why the sudden change
I don't know
It feels so weird
To be seeing the light so bright


A switch of all switches
So fast my head is spinning
I am going to take 
What is in front of me


Yet the fear the sadness
Will return soon 
Puts a damper on feeling good
Not for long though


Feeling good is nice
The special feeling of happiness
Is something I don't take for granted
It is something I cherish
Not push away




Becky Smith              12/28/11




What a switch in moods. I am spinning as I said, but I am happy to feel good. I will not push myself into depression if I can help it. Happy day to all.

I feel horrible
I wish there was more to life
Than feeling like crap all the time
When will I feel good


It's not the body 
That betrays me this time
No imbalance as I see
So what is the deal to the depression


If I could just figure out
The things which are bothering me
Which have a hold on my being
Maybe, just maybe I will feel okay


For now I wait
I try to see the good
In the bad I feel this time
I hope for a miracle
This will lift and I can be me again








Becky Smith                                 12/25/11

The Life

The Life


What is the life
I am living in now
The decay of my mind
Seems so much further now


Depression is teeming
Through the good days I have
Seems to be more now
Than ever before


In the good days 
I feel happy as a lark
Wanting to feel it 
Forever ever more


Yet the despair in my mind
Keeps coming back
To threaten my resolve
Too waiver my being










Becky Smith                                          11/26/11


This is how I feel at times with the changes in my moods. It may be some depressing sounding, but there are happy days too. 

today i write

Just a quick one this day. I would like to say this...don't take things for granted, be glad you have what you have. That is all i have for today. I think it speaks volumes though. 

On my mind

I am a vast wealth of emotions
Can I see past them all
Is there an answer 
To my question at all

I have the knowledge 
To get through the emotions
But when it comes down to it
I seem to forget it all

In my years of going through
The mental challenge I have
To sort through the emotions
It is a adventure in all

I am forever going to be
An emotional gal
The answer to my question
I have known it all along


Becky Smith                4/28/11

Flip up again

If there is a way to know
How I will feel in a day
I would be able to warn
Myself before it happens
Not feel like I am a mystery
To myself and others
I want to be one
In mind and body
Spirit and soul
With the things I have in me
I am always going to be uncertain
Of what my moods will do
I sit and wait for the next
Mood swing to happen
On and on I go
On and an I will keep going


Becky Smith            3/31/11

this life of mine

This life of mine
Is something to be misleading
Thinking that it is good
It is something that I want changed


What can I do to make it better
I feel my roller coaster moods
Counter productive
To what I really want out of my life


This life of mine
How do i know
When it will be right
If it will ever be settled down


There are some things I do
That are good for me
Yet when the moods go haywire
I am a basket case inside


This life of mine
Will it ever calm down 
Will I be something to me
Will I ever feel the same


Becky Smith                                             3/30/11

There are thoughts in my head

These thoughts cause me grief

Give me feeling of being useless

Of having nothing to go for

I am fighting a battle days in

And days out

Trying to figure out where I need to go

What I need to do

I am at a crossroads with my life

Maybe what men call

Mid life crisis

Trying to see where I fit in the scheme of things

I have come to the conclusion

That I will find who I am

One way or another no matter

What it takes to get to that conclusion

Rebecca Smith 3/3/11

That is my thought for the day.

My list is:

Help my hubby find a job.

Crochet and accomplish at three to six afghans

Write and type my poetry in the computer

Becky